Terry Maynard

Terry Maynard

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First Name * Terry
Last Name * Maynard
Username * black-lotus
Country * United Kingdom
City Surrey
Nationality English
Languages English




I'm not sure what to write....

I have been putting this off for years now....

but after recently seeing
Randy Pausch Lecture: Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams
Randy Pausch Lecture: Time Management

I just couldn't put it off any longer....

I know my work isn't as good as 99.99% of the other people that are on cg society, but it's the start of a exciting journey which I hope to be an adventure that leads me to my dreams....someday

here we go....

I've been interested in 3d ever since I was a little kid, I remember seeing a raytraced statue head sometime in the mid 80s and thinking how is that done, I just wasn't satisfied seeing this and not knowing how it was done, it was like magic, I believe it was on a silicon graphic workstation, I remember turning to my dad and asking how long would it take me to save my pocket money to get one of those, at the time they were quarter of a million pounds, he explained the situation, let's just say I didn't get one in the end, instead the following Christmas I open my presents only to find an Atari 500st looking back at me, it sounds strange I know but I was like a kid at Christmas, I was the luckiest kid on earth that day.

a few years later and I was making 2D polygons move, although it was very basic stuff....WOW this is the best thing on earth I thought to myself,

I was making crazy little animations, some of my happiest times.
as time passed and I grow up I watched the developments in 3d getting better and better, but I still wasn't anywhere near as good as the things I'd seen in the movies or on TV.
school came and passed with no real encouragement from my teachers, I kept my head down and got on with school work, but most of the time all I was thinking about was how to become an animator. I didn't even care what type or how much money was involved as long as that was what I was doing, needless to say my text books were covered in art work much to the disappointment of my teachers.

my biggest regret on leaving school was not going on to university, it would have been great to mix with likeminded people, and be part of something that at that time was new and exciting, but this is something that is in the past now, and I try not to let it get to me, instead I got my first job it wasn't much but first jobs never are, I did various of jobs after that, not really aiming for anything specific, just making money and getting by and saving a little each time, before long I had enough cash to buy my first PC, that was a real eye opener, and shortly after that I kind of realised that there was nothing stopping me from creating the things I'd seen in my mind, these thoughts grow exponentially as I started using 3ds max for the first time, wow I thought, I can put my thoughts down on screen and it's not even difficult to learn, kind of what you see is what you get....or what you think is what you get....I was still working in those dead end job at that time

I had something in the back of my mind telling me not to pursue a course....I guess that's self doubt. I'm sure you have had times like this, I hate doubting myself it's a very destructive force.

I guess after seeing that lecture recently, I realised that the only one stopping me from fulfilling my dreams was me. and maybe to not to let anyone tell me that what I want is beyond me.

then at about the same time as I started using 3ds max, movies with CGI started to emerge, I was aware of VFX being used in the past, but when CGI started to appear it got me thinking about the possibilities, I started to dream again,

could I be a animator ?

more research and self learning followed and I went in to a period of making ridiculously large amounts of work, all the time they were getting better and better, to the point where I didn't know where it was all going.

I started using Z brush, bits of Maya for certain things, Photoshop, pretty much all the usual suspects, these were great times, I would start something in the morning and by the end of the day I would be staring at something that was beyond me, but it was my work !....I guess I surprised even myself back then,

there was a lot of CGI being used in movies at that time, and not all of it was good but most of it was....

I guess we are now talking about the turn of the century now....
the matrix, lord of the rings etc....all blow my head off when I first watched it, I realised I had a long way to go.

I feel the same about some of the artists on cg society, I think you know some of the people I'm talking about their work speaks for its self....my current favourites are Wei Ming, Tim Borgmann. I could mention a lot of others....

I like movies and I'm always interested to see what they come up with next, I am still working on bits and pieces of 3d, my main programmes are 3ds max/Photoshop/Z brush.

I've had to edit 2500 images iv done in to just 5 so I'm not sure if these are the right ones but I've got to start somewhere, iv left out my models until I'm 100% satisfied with them....

this work is a few years old now, have a look though it as I figure out what my next move is,

please don't judge me to harshly on these they're not my best.

I think it's time to start fulfilling my dreams, and see where it takes me,

like Randy Pausch says :

The brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things
I guess my brick wall is lack of self confidence

((( sorry if that was hard to read but I'm an animator not a writer)))

Thanks for reading

additional: I sometimes feel like I'm running with wolfs.

a wise man said "Procrastination is the thief of time" I'm putting of uploading my 3D work until probably the weekend.


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